Friday, January 29, 2010


My heart is so heavy tonight and I'll admit freely that I am questioning the sovereignty of God. I know He is all-knowing and is working everything for the good of those who love Him but man, it's hard to trust that tonight. I have been praying earnestly for a while now for a friend of mine who was fighting for custody of her children in another state. She had the stronger case and by all accounts, her children should be on their way home to her in AL. Instead, a judge ruled against her today. She was in the right all the way and had experts on her side; her son desperately needs care he can get more efficiently here. I can't remember a time I have prayed more on behalf of someone else and not seen the situation resolved positively. It just seems like the ex is being rewarded for bad behavior. Right now, other than peace for my friend, I'm not sure how to pray. I just don't get it.

1 comment:

Ameratis said...

I have many times that I struggle with the same type thing. "It doesn't make sense" is a common phrase I use as well as "Why am I even praying?"

Like with our mutual friend who wants to be pregnant, I don't understand how 16 yr old girls who could care less about a child can get pregnant but not a couple who would love and raise the child in the church.

I have to say though that reading through the Bible with the radical experiment has opened my eyes again to the struggles of those in the chapters.
Look at Joseph, who had the better side, but was thrown in jail because of a lustful woman.
I am not preaching in this comment, I am just pointing out things that have helped some for me.

I still tell my "not understanding" part to God because I feel, even if mistakenly, that He does not mind listening to me rant as long as it is respectfully.

I completely understand your feelings at the moment and have experienced them before and probably will again.