Questions

My heart is so heavy tonight and I'll admit freely that I am questioning the sovereignty of God. I know He is all-knowing and is working everything for the good of those who love Him but man, it's hard to trust that tonight. I have been praying earnestly for a while now for a friend of mine who was fighting for custody of her children in another state. She had the stronger case and by all accounts, her children should be on their way home to her in AL. Instead, a judge ruled against her today. She was in the right all the way and had experts on her side; her son desperately needs care he can get more efficiently here. I can't remember a time I have prayed more on behalf of someone else and not seen the situation resolved positively. It just seems like the ex is being rewarded for bad behavior. Right now, other than peace for my friend, I'm not sure how to pray. I just don't get it.

Retraction/Correction and Good News from Haiti

I always want my blog to be a place of truth and as such, I need to make a correction to yesterday's post. After talking to mom today, I understand that I should not have taken Limbaugh to task yesterday for saying people shouldn't give. According to Rush, he DID NOT say that, his words were misconstrued (is anyone surprised the media would misquote Rush?) and he was not saying people shouldn't give. In this instance, I am glad I was wrong and I'm glad I can come back on and correct that. Still don't think it's a time to pick sides but that's beside the point.

Now for the good news: according to Compassion International founder Wess Stafford (who's also one of the coolest guys around), Dan Wooley, the Compassion staff member who was trapped and rescued from the Hotel Montana rubble was able to lead the bellhop he was communicating with to Christ while they were trapped. Praise the Lord!! God WILL use extreme devastation to prove His glory! More good news, again according to Compassion. They are still hearing sounds in the hotel wreckage and Dan's videographer had protein bars and water with him. Please continue to pray that David can be found alive and continue to pray for the workers who are struggling to meet the overwhelming need in Haiti. This is an impossible situation to comprehend but we serve an awesome God who is in the miracle business. He WILL be glorified in this situation.

Haiti Thoughts

My heart is still aching for the nation of Haiti. Before the earthquake, Haiti was in a sad state of affairs. They are an impoverished nation with a governmental structure that leaves little chance for meaningful change with a heart-change from the top down. BUT, that in NO WAY justifies the comments of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson. Both have made statements in the last few days that are just downright stupid and insensitive. Now I'm not usually one that jumps on the insensitive bandwagon but in Robertson's case especially, the comments got under my skin.

Pat Robertson is supposed to be an example for Christians. How are statements saying the Haitians deserved the earthquake as God's punishment for a deal with the devil certain Haitians supposedly made years ago? Seriously?! When did God decided to explain his sovereign will to Pat Robertson? Throughout Scripture we are reminded that suffering will happen in this world but our job as Christians is to minister to the "least of these" as Christ would. I don't remember Christ using a litmus test to decide who was worthy of His help. He offered help and forgiveness to all who asked. How are the Haitians to know of Christ's love if we don't go and share while meeting needs? Aren't we supposed to be the hands and feet of Christ? Guess Pat's momma didn't teach him the phrase "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." What was the point of his comments anyway? Why not pray for the people of Haiti, pray for the rescuers, pray for the parents in the US waiting desperately for adoptions from Haiti? He has a HUGE platform, use it to send out a call for prayer.

Then comes Rush Limbaugh. He of course is using this to jump on Obama claiming Obama is using this to look compassionate and play to minorities? Seriously Rush?! Now I can't stand Obama and think his administration is bad for America but ANY president in his position would be doing the same darn thing. Remember the tsunami? George Bush handled that one. And then he went off saying we shouldn't donate to Haiti because we already give our tax dollars to them. So much for compassionate conservatism.

Sadly, all these two have done is hurt their respective causes. Robertson unfortunately is viewed as a spokesman for Christianity by the media. His asinine comments allowed all Christians to be painted with a somewhat broad brush. Fortunately, some news outlets were interviewing others like Franklin Graham and got vastly different responses. Unfortunately, everyone won't hear those other responses. And Limbaugh just hurts the conservative movement when he opens his blow-hole and starts talking like he did earlier this week. Stick to debating the political topics and leave disaster response to the professionals.

Sorry for the vent, I'd just had my fill of stupid people. I keep being reminded of the Mark Twain quote "better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." Maybe someone should embroider that on two pillows and express ship them to Robertson and Limbaugh.

Snow?

Here are my pictures from the snow today:










If you look really closely and use your imagination, you can see the snowman I spent all day making.

Deep Thoughts

Well maybe not so deep but interesting to me and maybe to someone else so I'll share.

Today was officially Day 1 of the Radical Experiment read through the Bible portion. Today's passage was Gen. 1 and 2. Now I've read the creation story probably hundreds of times but I've never noticed a particular section of Gen. 1, verses 11 and 12. In it, Moses is outlining the creation of the plants. And he was specific about seed bearing plants. He didn't just say plants, he said seed-bearing and he said it a couple of times. It struck me this morning that this little piece of Scripture is so evident of God and His providence. He KNEW reproduction of plants would be necessary and animals to eat those plants hadn't been created yet. God foreknew and His plan built reproduction into the creation plans. How awesome is it that the God we serve cared enough about His creation that He made those plans ahead of time? And I forget time and time again that the same God who took care of plant reproduction before it was necessary cares more for me! Lord, forgive my unbelief.

Then later I found a quote in a new devotional book I'm reading (thanks Mom!). It said we cannot fool God by going through the motions of giving. That really hit me. There have been lots of times I've given God less than my best or begrudingly gave my tithe or didn't give at all because I needed the money more. Talk about conviction. I think this whole concept applies to way more than just monetary giving though. How often have I given less than my best at work or at school or in a friend relationship. I was too tired, the task was beneath me, etc., etc., etc. God doesn't want our excuses - He wants our best. Sure we'll fail but our goal should always be our best because ultimately what we do is supposed to be for His glory.

To top all that off, I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Now, if you don't want to be convicted, leave this book off your reading list. But, if you want to be blown away by how awesome our Creator is, go to Amazon, buy it (or download it on iTunes), and begin reading. Just be warned, it is slow going. Not slow like Tozer where every sentence is heavy and hard to understand, just slow because you'll want to ruminate over passages. This afternoon's 3.5 pages (seriously, only 3.5) were no exception. Look up Phil 4:4. Go ahead, I'll wait...it's a command to rejoice in the Lord always - it's a command - not a suggestion. Then verse 6, do not be anxious about anything. What Chan says next is what really got me thinking..."when I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice." Oops, Houston, we have a problem...

Then Chan goes on to say that worry implies we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives and stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. He finishes out the section reminding the reader that the story isn't about us at all, God is the center of the story. This is really a hard concept for me to wrap my head around because I am an A #1 control-freak. I freely admit that I fall short all the time in letting go and letting God. When I put that passage together with the creation story from this morning, I can't help but marvel at God. In His sovereignty, He knew I needed to hear a reminder about His providence and His being in control and He gave it to me today in two totally different ways. Taken alone, each are amazing displays of God's unique position in my life. Taken together, they are seen as absolute writing in the sky that He is reminding me he's got everything under control.

Reminds me of a cheesy quote that is quite appropriate...I don't know what tomorrow may hold but I know who holds tomorrow.

2009 in Review and Looking Forward

2009 has been an interesting year. I've grown a lot personally and spiritually. I've seen new places, met new people and experienced things words can't adequately describe.

I made a commitment at the close of 2008 to spend 2009 reading through the entire Bible. As of this morning, I finished. It's been an amazing process to see God's sovereign hand throughout Scripture. From the first of creation to His promised return, He is supreme! It is amazing to see how He brought the Israelites (sometimes kicking and screaming) to the exact place He wanted them to be. Regardless of their disobedience, He never left them without a plan of redemption. I think it is incredibly thought-provoking to see how He still guides us, His fallen people in the same manner. While we don't have the burning bushes of Genesis, He does still provide us with people like the prophets who help guide us back to the path of righteousness when we wander off to try and make it on our own.

God also guided me to my life verses early in 2009. Psalm 62:5-8 speak to me in such a strong, powerful way. "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." These verses just speak to me where I am right now. He and He alone is my refuge, I can find rest in Him. What power lies in those verses...He knows the future, He knows where my next job is, He knows the deepest desires of my heart. I don't have to worry or struggle. Not easy by any stretch but powerful nonetheless.
(I also have the benefit that Aaron Keyes put it to music so I can sing my life verses too. :-))

Summer brought probably the biggest stretching experience of my life. I got on a plane and spent 15.5 hours in it flying to South Africa. Me, the person who doesn't like flying and hates not being in control, willingly got on a plane for that long. I had an amazing time seeing God move in powerful ways in the slums of South Africa. I saw poverty like I've never seen before but saw a joy in people's hearts that I haven't experienced often in the US. I actually hope to go back to Africa at some point - there is so much work to be done there and I want to be a part of it at least on a small scale.

God also taught me a lot about His provision. I had numerous monetary needs pop up throughout 2009 from routine bills to trips to medical expenses and through God's sovereign hand, the money was always there. I had tutoring jobs come up, my department "found" money to pay a small stipend through the summer, a training session came up, and a Christmas bonus came along. God is good!!

Looking forward, I am excited about 2010. My church is embarking on the Radical Experiment as a faith family. We will all read through the Bible (chronologically this time), hear David preach through the Bible from start to finish (bonus!!), we will be saving together as a church and as individuals, praying for the whole world and focus on spending at least 2% of our time in another context spreading the Gospel. I can't wait to see who God will change us as individuals and as a faith family. I'm praying revival will break out in Birmingham and around the world as a result of our prayers. May God be glorified in what we do!!

I'm also excited about a few spreadsheets I'm using in 2010. One will simply keep track of my savings when buying groceries, household items, etc. Another will keep track of my spending. This one should help me eliminate wasteful spending. Having to write it all down leads to accountability. Hopefully I can use these two together and at the end of each quarter, can use the savings and cutbacks in spending
to make donations to organizations like Compassion International.

The final spreadsheet will just simply be for my interest and I may use it for blog posts here and there. I've decided to keep track of the books I read this year. I am a voracious reader who usually has two or three books going at a time. Someone once asked me how many books I read in a year and I honestly didn't know. So, for 2010, I'm going to keep track and I'll probably review a few on here every now and then.

Most excitedly for 2010, I am finishing my dissertation. This will hopefully happen in the early part of 2010. Woo-hoo!!!

That's all for now. I'm off to work on that dissertation so I can spend tomorrow watching football!

What I Want for Christmas

Had one more thought to share...I have an unadopted Compassion child that desperately needs a sponsor family. Her name is Julia; she is 7 and lives in Guatemala. Sponsorship through Compassion costs $38/month and provides life-changing care for Julia and other children like her. We spend more than $38 a month eating out. Compassion makes their money go as far as humanly possible and is completely above-board as charities go.

If you are interested in sponsoring Julia, please let me know and I'll get you her info.

Life Update

It's been a while. Life has been very busy and I haven't had time to do much more than work, work on my dissertation and keep my apartment from becoming a health hazard. There have been several times I've been ready to update and something popped up to prevent it.

I am around 2 months or so from being finished with a seven-year journey. That thought still seems surreal. I have submitted a draft of my dissertation and gotten feedback. Mom read it to in order to check for "what were you thinking" mistakes and I've got hear feedback as well. I'll submit another draft in two weeks and then we'll meet as a committee on 1/5/10 to go over that draft and set a date for the final defense. Wow, can't believe I'm to that point.

It finally feels like Christmas around Birmingham. We even had snow this morning. Now it wasn't anything worth writing home about but it's WAY early in the season for us to have even threats of snow. Hopefully this won't be the last snow appearance of the year.

I spent today cleaning like a mad woman. I have felt for the last few weeks that my apartment was closing in on me. There was so much paper around, I felt like a library threw up. I also wanted to clean out some "stuff" that has just been laying around collecting dust. I'm trying to simplify, thin out my stuff and avoid buying more stuff. I want a cleaner apartment but I also want to respond in obedience to God's call to share with those less fortunate than I am. My stuff could benefit someone else so I'm giving it up. There will be more to come because I didn't finish the kitchen or some of the living room.

My plan for 2010 is to evaluate every purchase except those that are absolute emergencies or are necessary for staying healthy. I've really started trying to remember to ask myself "how many children could this money feed?" Asking that has helped me decide on some nights to come home and have a sandwich instead of taking the easy, eat-out option. David Platt encouraged us all to develop a "Radical Experiment" plan for our lives. This is the first part of mine. I know God is going to do radical things with the money and time Brook Hillians sacrifice for His glory in 2010. Can't wait to see it!!

Off to buy chickens and such for Christmas presents...