Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Frustrated...

So I'm looking all over the internet for job possibilities and am coming up pretty empty. I know there is a position out there and God is teaching me patience and reliance on His provision and timing but man I so want to find a job in my field and find it quickly.

He birthed in me a passion for moms and children. Heck I've known since I was eight I wanted to work with them - the job focus has changed but never the age range. Don't mind men or older people, they just aren't the group God gave me a passion for. Why is finding positions to apply for so difficult? It isn't even finding a job per se that's difficult, I'm not even seeing jobs to apply for. I know what I would love to do but there aren't really positions built around that either. Guess I'm proof the whole "name it and claim it" idea is a big stinkin' pile of crapola! :-)

I so want to just blindly trust that God will work something out but it's hard to say it and mean it. I know deep down that God will provide but my flesh wants it now. I'm sitting here typing this post while crying, partly out of frustration at the lack of positions and partly out of a lack of trust in my Provider and frustration at myself for that lack of trust. He's shown Himself over and over and over as provider. Why do I so easily doubt His provision in this instance? Why can't I just rest in His promises?

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